That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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