Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
