My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize