Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
