would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
