You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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