The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
