Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
