You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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