A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize