So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Randomize
