i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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