I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
