Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
