I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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