can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize