hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
