you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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