i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
