He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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