How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Walk of Shame today included voting.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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