you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
