this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
