You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
