hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i drank out of a bidet.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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