Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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