I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize