Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
