I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
