i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
