Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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