Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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