if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
