As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
