I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize