Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
