I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
