Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
