Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My liver just broke up with me...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Come see our sink grown plant.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
