What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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