We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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