we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
