I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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