I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
