Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
