I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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