do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
