guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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