Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
