Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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