"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
