we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
