i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
