I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
