I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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