In the future we'll all be gay
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you had me at cake vodka
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
