I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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