my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I think my fart just growled at me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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