u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
