Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
