im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
