brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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