I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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