There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
