He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
