we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
